


Odds Are (You Make Me Feel Like an Idiot-Goddess)

by opti



Series: The NOLY Outtakes [21]
Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Dirty Talk, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Oral Sex, Praise Kink, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Games, Smut, Teasing, Vaginal Sex, Wall Sex, Workplace Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-19 03:03:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3593955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/opti/pseuds/opti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Work is simply the most boring place to be, especially when you're working for the local government of a Midwestern city like Pawnee. Gross.</p><p>So April and Andy find a way to spice that up. She gets a little more than she bargained for, but April's okay with that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Odds Are (You Make Me Feel Like an Idiot-Goddess)

**Author's Note:**

> Requested anonymously on tumblr as "April and Andy have a competition to see who can subtly turn the other one on better in public."
> 
> I love this idea, like, around the time of early-mid S3. Maybe even before their relationship. It got kind of out of hand but I think the flow is natural and I like the idea of April adoring Andy being so ridiculously in love with her. I just really like adoring April/Andy.
> 
> Remember that you too can request things on [tumblr](http://anotheropti.tumblr.com/ask) if you so desire. Requests are really super helpful for me to keep going with this thing!

She doesn't necessarily hate work, or the people there, but it's not like April wakes up in the morning thinking that everything will be okay when she enters City Hall. People there were her friends, at least a few of them, but God if she doesn't hate pushing those double doors open. She gets up, grumbles, buys herself a cheap coffee just to jolt her system into believing it wants to be up, and then she can go into work ten minutes late with a seething hatred building up inside of her. Day in, day out, that's how April's work life goes. It never evolves, and it's simply  _boring_. 

Boredom. Even that  _word_ is boring. Ugh.

April gets up that day. She grumbles. When she drives in to work she wants to scream at the top of her lungs. Instead she buys a cheap coffee just to jolt her system into believing it wants to be up. She spends ten minutes drinking it, slowly taking each gulp like it's the only thing she's ever wanted in her entire life. After that, she goes to work and - yes - she hates opening those double doors. They're metonymic as boredom. She kind of remembers what metonymy is. Then April thinks about high school Lit because her brain is as bored as a point guard with no other players on their team.

She starts thinking about basketball, too.

Hours don't fly by. That's a rumor postulated and created by a bunch of wackos that probably all act like Leslie. Hours slink by at best. Most of the time they trudge onward until she's tapping her forehead on the desk, calling Jerry names, or asking Tom if he has anything for her to do. Hours blindly cascade into each other until she wants to take every stapler in the building and slam them all against her head at once, hopeful for the sweet release of death.

This is just morning. 

Then it's the minutes leading to her lunch break. That's what makes her day fun: spending at least some of it with Andy. If work was a boring, trundling experience that led to her wondering just how many more hours she could take then Andy was the reason she kept going in day after day. Food fights were a common form of discourse, kissing just to prove they could do it now, and generally just being around his aura of happiness. When she can finally escape the Parks Department for a few minutes, she beelines for the shoeshine stand and greets him with a hug around his waist from behind. 

"Hey," she says into his back. He turns around in her arms and smiles down at her. "What's up?"

"Nothing, just super glad to see the prettiest girl in the world," he kisses her quickly, and she enjoys how enthusiastic his words are.

"Shut up," she rolls her eyes after he breaks apart but she's still smiling. At least she has something to smile about. "So, today's been really boring."

She follows him to one of the chairs and sits in his lap. She stares at the way he stares at her and, honestly, the attention is awesome. It's not sex, and it's not even being in a relationship, but he's always so wrapped up in her that it makes April okay with work just a little bit more. She plants her lips on his almost immediately, letting her tongue slip and enjoying the way he makes that little rumbling sound in his chest in response to just being  _kissed_. So Andy did make work a little more fun. Who cares? April enjoys the view of his eyes darting to her chest, then back to her lips, and further up to meet her eyes.

"Yeah?" he finally says.

"Super boring," she drawls. 

"What were you thinking?" Andy says with a smirk.

"Anything to make it less annoying. You got any ideas?" her hand dips low until it's playing at the button of his pants. 

"I... uh, a few," he says because her fingers are tapping the zipper. April can tell he's already got one idea, sitting on his lap and smiling.

"You know how this works, Andy," she warns him.

"I do?" he then takes on a curious mixture of happiness and confusion before he grins again. "Oh, yeah. I do."

"Damn right, Dwyer," she says when he lifts her up and she wraps her legs around him.

April likes the way his hands fit on her thighs. They're big and warm, and his left hand is far more calloused than his right from playing guitar but that's okay. It makes him feel more real and more  _Andy_ to her because she can memorize the way his fingers dig into her legs. And when he kisses her, carrying her through a public building by cupping her legs, she can memorize how his beard scratches her face at the same time as his tongue declares a bombastic entrance. 

She likes the way he pushes open a maintenance closet door, her hands wrought in his hair. The way that feels is awesome too. His is all curly and short, but enough is there for her to pull at it when he kisses her neck. Warmth blossoms in her chest and an undeniable heat and arousal spreads through her when he kisses her like that. Tender and gentle, but his hands never moving from gripping her legs and her ass. It's the perfect mixture of loving, wanting, and hot that April doesn't mind whatsoever coming from Andy. 

"So, are you still bored?" Andy asks, nibbling on her neck with just tiny breaks between them that make her want to scream. 

"Getting more interested," she murmurs, sliding closer to him. His pants hide him just barely, but she can feel him hardening against her leg.

She likes the way that feels too. Turning him on, even if it's just from wrapping her legs around him and kissing and biting his ear while he works her neck. By the time their mouths meet again, he tastes like her sweat and she just wants him to kiss her more. She wants to feel him so hard that he can't possibly get any more aroused. She wants him to be that ready when he slams into her, and she dips her hand back to his pants to get him there.

When he's freed, he's hot to the touch. April doesn't think of much other than wrapping her hand around him and letting him shower kisses on her chest through a shirt. He can cup a breast in his hand because she loves how that feels. His mouth against her nipple, soft and loving, is enough to make her let out a long-held breath in want. 

"Boring?" 

"Not quite," she smiles. "Could be more fun-"

"Oh, totally."

She likes the way it feels when she unhooks and rids herself of pants. His fingers gingerly strip her of underwear, sliding them down to her knees and to the floor after a moment where he kisses her just below her waist and makes her lean back into the wall again. When he takes her thighs up in his hands they're just as warm and he is just as thick and hard against her leg. That gets her closer, just feeling him hard again. All it ever took for her was feeling him bulge in her fist or expand in her mouth, making April's mouth water and the wetness spread to almost perfection.

If she could get on her knees for long enough to get herself there, April's sure she could come from getting him off. Andy's not a superhuman, though, so she doesn't blame him when that doesn't take very long for him to find release. She's pretty great at blowjobs.

But that's not what she likes about it. She likes feeling him slide around her tongue and heat up instantly. All the blood in his body flows directly towards her, and he's even harder if at all possible, and it rarely takes much work to get him there. To get him to the point where he's as stiff in her mouth as possible, and his tip will always touch one specific portion of her throat and it feels comforting to have him back there. To have him moaning under her power is what she wants. It makes her dip her fingers into her own underwear often when she does it, because Andy crumbling in her mouth is just too much stimulation for her to handle without finding her own climax.

And when he's smiling against her cheek, and he thrusts into her with as much greedy excitement as she has for him to do it, she likes that, too. She loves it, and loves the way he moans as she pulses around him and she expands to ever-maddening heights of pleasure. She loves the way his hands steady her whole body because, without them on her hips or under her knees, she'll slam into the wall with the momentum.

"You're so... you're the best."

She loves that too.

"You're not so bad yourse-  _ah_ ," she tries to be coy, but the best she can manage is an ear-splitting cry.

He's as hard as ever, pounding into her with a rhythm that makes the walls behind her feel ready to split open, and she can't get enough of it. When he slows down, and she can feel herself reaching another height that's so far up she can barely even see the end of it until she's crashing back down to Earth, Andy kisses her softly on the lips. He mouths bits of her jaw like they belong there - which they do and always will - and she smiles into the air because he knows what makes her tick. She doesn't tell him, explicitly, but he can feel her fingers grip his back tighter when he does these things. He can feel her come around him when he grunts and bites at her sometimes, and Andy definitely knows when her nipples harden between his lips or in his hands. 

April learns, then, that she loves turning him on. All of this makes him wild. It turns Andy, shifts him from a loving puppydog into a lover. Every gentle bit of him works tenfold, and every part of him that works to please her becomes aggressive without losing his qualities. Feeling her go from cold and aloof to warm all over, letting him occupy every space between them, makes him change.

And she likes that. A lot.

 

 

* * *

 

 

They fuck in corners and closets at work. Wherever there's a space where Andy's body fits, she's on top. Anytime she can only barely squeeze in, he's on his knees and any day that she can she returns that favor with a mouthful of him. It doesn't replace making love at home. Because honestly that's what it is: fucking at work, love at Burly's place. One is getting each other off, the second is really  _experiencing_ it. Which, that thought above all else, makes her groan.

She's so stupidly in love it's embarrassing, but she can't think about it that much.

They like it, though, and it's not boring. The sex isn't, at least, but soon that too becomes routine. April doesn't like that a whole lot, but it's how the world works. She's not tired of feeling him stream through her fingers or empty hard into her, but her growing fear that this will ever become boring makes her decide they need to make it more interesting. More fun.

A game, perhaps.

"Andy," she says to him at lunch. A clean lunch this time. "I think I know how we can make lunch even cooler."

"Woah... how?" he asks, all bright eyed and ready for whatever idea she has. 

Yeah she's way over her head in this, but she likes it. "I was thinking... of a game," she taps her fork on the little plastic bowl. 

"Dude, awesome," he says almost nonchalantly.

"I was thinking instead of just doing it-"

"But doing it is really cool," he smiles wide.

"Yes, sex is awesome. But, I think it could be extra cool if we did something secret," she put her food down and folded her hands on her lap. "Like, Andy you know I like... ugh, I like getting you off."

"Babe," he says with the most pleased look on his face ever, "I love it too. Getting you off I mean."

"Uh huh," she says with a chuckle. "God, this is weird. I mean, I really like it when you're... y'know getting there. Turning you on and stuff."

"Wow, I never thought about it-"

"God, I sound like a sex ed teacher," she claws her cheeks and groans. "This all sounds stupid-"

"If your game is to see if I can turn you on better than you can turn me on, then you're on!" he says, shoving his hand out. She takes it, shakes his hand. A gentleman's agreement. 

"So what's the deal?"

"Hm?"

"How do we win or lose?" Andy asks.

"Oh, uh, I mean if you initiate sex you lose," she thinks of on the spot. That was a good deal. They both started it about equally. Sometimes April pushed him into a wall and sometimes he turned her over and put her on her stomach. 

"Awesome."

"And the loser has to..." she considers it for a moment. What would a winner deserve after all that sexual frustration and teasing? "The loser has to give the winner head for a whole night."

"That's not super fair to me," Andy says quickly. 

He's not wrong. "I'll make it fair," she offers, her face heating up. 

Andy just grins and he nods. "Deal."

A few seconds pass as April sits across from him in the courtyard. Already considering her first move, she wonders how forthright she should be. Would getting in his lap be too much or not enough? Should she wear underwear to work or not? Maybe sit next to him at a meeting and put his hand between her legs and let him discover she's bare in her skirt. April takes a bite of her salad and lets the fork sit in her mouth, thinking. 

Would it be super uncomfortable? She's never gone to work without wearing any panties and, honestly, it's kind of exciting in a weird way. Then again, she doesn't wear that many skirts either. Technically if he started fingering her in a meeting it would count as initiating sex, so she could win easily. She bites down on the fork in concentration. Maybe she could just start dropping stuff in front of him. He liked to feel her butt in his hands when he took her from behind, and she liked feeling him exploring every inch of her he could, so she could use that too.

When she looks up, losing her focus, Andy's staring at her with that familiar lust. It takes a few moments before she realizes she's still biting down on the fork, and then not long after she folds her lips over the flanges and watches him stare at that, too. 

 _Oh boy_ , she thinks.  _This is gonna be so easy._

 

 

* * *

 

 

The first day is simple. 

Andy unbuttons an extra button on his shirt and it just makes her laugh. Mostly because he does it in front of her, staring at her like he's making it so obvious he's trying to get away with something. If he had long hair and some wind blew in he'd look like a shampoo commercial model from the eighties. That makes her laugh to herself, and he gets the idea that it isn't working.

He slinks off to work and she laughs to herself. It's... it's cute. This is sweet. She sits with her legs pointedly crossed all day, trying to figure out if she's really uncomfortable with the idea or just unused to it. Somewhere in between those two she guesses. When she visits him at the shoeshine stand he does exactly what she wanted. He looks at her bare legs, and the skirt, and he's smiling. Then he touches her once and his hand goes a little up her leg.

_Okay._

And then he realizes that he's never going to come into contact with anything other than her thigh and then her waist. His eyes bulge out of his head and she bites her lip lightly, nodding. Her fingers almost scrape off nails when she's clawing his back not long afterward.

When they get back to Burly's he presses his face between her legs as the rightful loser. Or winner. April can't think that well when he's fiercely lapping her up for the whole night. His cheeks are harsh against her inner thighs after a while, but he removes his fingers and lets very gentle waves of his tongue take her to the brink over and over again. He takes her breast in his hand, softly, in perfect juxtaposition. The flesh near her nipple is just held on tight until he moves up to kiss her there and on her mouth. She eagerly takes all of that, her head spinning in pleasure and this is just the beginning. Then he goes back and his tongue works in to find her waiting, and he moves in such perfection - it might be a little sloppy, or a little untamed, but God if he doesn't have a knack for rhythm.

She thanks something he's into music, because a four-four bar has never felt so goddamn good.

By the time he's actually done eating her out April might be working up a minor headache and possibly blindness. Her leg muscles are so used to being spread and held tight that she can barely stand, and that just makes her head spin more.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Day two is... less simple.

She goes to the shoeshine stand and sits in the other chair for once. She doesn't eat a particularly sexy food in her wrap, so she can't work with that. This time he's looking at her, almost creepily.

"Hey," he whispers. 

When she turns his eyes are caught in that loving stare that makes her skin boil over and her body freezes up all at once. It's intoxicating and infuriating, and only because she's supposed to  _win_ this stupid game. But he does look at her like he loves her. 

And she really, really, really likes that.

"What's up?" she ekes out, coughing afterward.

"Nothing, just... uh, appreciating the view," he says with a smug look on his face.

_Fuck._

"Oh... yeah?" 

"Mhm," he mumbles. 

"Yeah, dunno, just really... I never really appreciated how awesomely beautiful you are."

April laughs awkwardly and realizes her face is almost alight with the heat there.  _No_ , she reprimands herself,  _you don't get to lose this. Dwyer's going down on you tonight._

"I mean, I always thought that," he says, and he never touches her. He just  _smiles_ and talks so gently that she's battling her own grin. "Just sometimes I look at you and go, holy shit... Andy, you're so lucky." 

"All right dork," she stands up because she's half a compliment away from diving forward and kissing the living hell out of him right there. It would count, as far as he was concerned. "I'll catch you later."

And when he does catch up to her later, he's got big, dumb eyes and tells her she's the most amazing person he's ever met. If it wasn't Andy, she'd be afraid of someone complimenting her this much. But the way he's praising her feels... it's right. She pushes him into a closet and rides him until she's sufficiently got her desire to hear him call her beautiful again out of her system.

So she doesn't mind that, later that night, she lies on her back on the bed and lets him essentially fuck her mouth. It's strange, and weird, but he overwhelms her mouth with saliva and come and there isn't much else she wants. Especially after knowing that Andy isn't lying when he says all those things all day - he really doesn't, because she knows when he lies since he's covered in sweat - she's driven to the point of wanting to feel him like that in her mouth.

"Babe, you're so fucking good," he says in that first pulse. 

"Mmm," she murmurs, her words hidden by his cock.

"Oh God, that's so hot," he groans and she can taste even more of his release.

While he's still fighting through his orgasm, and even still leaving a little for her to taste, she moves to her stomach and sucks him down to the hilt. All the way through his orgasm and through him softening, she's got him firmly in her mouth and refuses to let go until he nearly stumbles over.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The game completely falls apart on day three.

She intended to try her plan of bending over in front of him all day. It's not exactly subtle, but April's given up caring about that. Whoever wins or loses, it really doesn't matter. In the end someone got off, and so spectacularly, that it didn't matter. At this point they both won. But she can't help when it escalates.

She can't help that she likes the way he hugs her from behind and kisses the side of her neck. When he laughs into her hair at some terrible joke, she simply can't get enough of it.  _Jesus,_ she thinks,  _I'm okay with being in love if this is what it feels like_. It's so sweet and full in her body. It's much like how she turns around in his arms and kisses him, forgetting about the game. That doesn't matter. Not even when he reminds her, because they just keep kissing until his moans go through her body and she opens up for him. 

"Babe, you are... the coolest, and the best, and awesome," she tells him, thumbing his cheek and staring up at him.

"And you are the sexiest and best," he returns, kissing her again.

"I really mean it, though."

"And I don't?" he asks.

"Not what I meant," she defends herself. "I just mean... don't think I'm being ironic or weird. You are  _awesome_."

And he smiles and kisses her again. Then his hands find her legs again, and somehow they start the whole cycle over again. Closet, wall, cock hard in her hand. She's wetter from his few minutes of kissing and holding her, touching her body, before he's inside. They both make noises that would embarrass them any other day, except for maybe Andy. She definitely almost squeals once or twice.

"You are so fucking hot when you do that," he tells her, his voice shaking with each thrust.

"God, babe you feel so good," she returns and bites her lip to hold back another moan. 

"I wanna make you feel so damn good," he lays his teeth into her shoulder. Another  _damn squeak_. "I wanna make you feel like you've...  _fuck_ , like you've never felt, April."

"Keep going. Keep talking," she urges him on as he pumps into her. 

 _God,_ she thinks.  _I could feel him hard forever._

"I don't care if we're doing it or not... I just wanna make you feel like you should," he kisses her shoulder and then moves to her jawline. "I want you to know how much I freaking...  _oh God_ , I love you."

He's so perfect. The words he's saying, his hands, and his movements are all perfect. His cock is perfect. The way he makes her feel, almost  _perfect_ , is what she wants. April likes that. An  _awful_ lot. She feels perfect in that single second when she moans louder and clutches his back with her nails and her ankles. Muscles tightening and fighting around him to pull as much of him nearer are met by a pair of lips against hers. She can't even tell he's kissing her because she's almost screaming into him as he pumps.

"Keep talking," she moans.

"I love it when you come because...  _ugh_ , fuck you're so perfect," he falls apart in his sentence, but she can feel what he's saying as much as she can hear it.

And that single perfection becomes a dozen more, all folding out. April thought she got the divine. It was all Catholicism and dumb Bible classes. But she doesn't know it, because in that second of complete synchronicity with her body, she understands the divine. It's this. It's Andy, and the pleasure he gives her. The fractal explosion in her nerves, every bit of each one of them compounding on the other until her whole body is falling apart into the single best orgasm of her entire life. April almost loses her mind trying to figure this out. Her skin is on fire, but it's comfortable. Her legs shake and the muscles within tighten, but they're only releasing all this energy. His cock is still there, slamming back and forth, but it's not what's on her mind. She groans and her hands grip at his skin and the air in desperation, April letting herself fall into beleaguered moans as his pace stays rhythmic and perfect. Her whole body slides up and down onto him in furious release. He's so hard and soft, and angles and round, and always Andy. It's all too much and she cries out again, stuttering out a myriad of curses.

She simply can't take it anymore. She can't stay voiceless, because inside is nothing but heaven and a perfect release.

"Oh my God," she says in a high-pitched whine. 

He grumbles something into her ear but it may as well have been white noise. She can't think straight anymore.

Andy eventually slows down and she can feel him tighten up his muscles and his grip, spilling over until she can feel him come out of her and onto her leg. 

When they get home, April makes it her mission to figure out the most intricate and methodical blowjob she can manage. After he made her feel like she was actual perfection he deserved to know that she had spent the entire day thinking about paying it back. After he comes from that, nearly half an hour later of bringing him to release and back again. Up and down, using her mouth and her hands and her breasts, and everything she can, she takes him to the edge and brings him down over and over. She stops to touch him softly with her lips and her face, and after he comes he looks so worn out and red all over that she smiles wide because it's not even close. He doesn't even know a fraction of what he gave her earlier, so she's going to figure out how to get him to that same place of total, utter perfection.

If she can find one-tenth the pleasure he gave her, she would let him take it however he needed to. It doesn't matter to her, she just wants him to experience the same love, affection, and insane sensation she had earlier that day. If it takes her a month, a year, or her entire life she's going to spend all of that time repaying that experience. Even if they do wind up playing the game again, if at the end  _he's_ the one getting all of this then April will be satisfied. 

He makes her feel like an idiot, and a goddess, and a regular human being. She just really needs him to understand what it feels like to be loved the way she is.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments make _me_ the happiest.
> 
> If the original prompter wants a redo on this one, let me know! I'd understand 100%.


End file.
